


Join The Imperial Intelligence, They Said

by Chaosite



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Darth Nox is also a character, First Day, Gen, Imperial Intelligence, Sith Empire, an imperial march: day 1, animperialmarch, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 18:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10039931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaosite/pseuds/Chaosite
Summary: It'll be fun, they said.





	

One would think it was no secret that the Sith Lords in general were not only obsessively power-oriented, but also competitive beyond the point of reason. Calimon always found himself a bit envious of people who perceived the Lords as those unapproachable, terrifying mystics, because for him, they always looked more like a bunch of abnormally cruel children who were handed dangerous weapons and let out to endlessly chase each other in a deadly game of tag. The Dark Council, the Sith ultimate elite, the best of the best was, in fact, the pinnacle of said childishness. That the SIS still didn’t manage to figure out that the only thing they had to do was to leave the Darths to each other was probably the most obvious proof of their incompetence. The best course of action for the Republic would be to surrender; the Dark Council would quickly get bored, and their constant game of one-upping one another with only an occasional death here and there would turn into a regular bloodbath, most probably ending with Darth Nox laughing madly among the corpses.

One would think that the Imperial Intelligence was an organization whose main goal was to, well, gather intelligence, no to endlessly clean up after the Lords’ exploits. And there was nothing, _nothing_ in his Academy training that could’ve prepared him for this kind of situation, and on the first day on the actual job as well.

“What do they mean by ‘deal with the Arcanum situation’? What situation?” Calimon looked expectantly at his friend, and, apparently, also partner on their very first assignment.

Zam’is just sighed and sat more comfortably in the desk chair.

“It all started when Darth Nox…”

“Of _course_ it’s Darth Nox,” Calimon muttered bitterly.

“When Dath Nox decided she can find much better use for the knowledge Darth Acina assigned her to uncover…”

“So she stole it.”

Zam’is shrugged and lifted one black eyebrow, his red eyes mischievous.

“No, she just never handed it over. Also, she was the one who found it anyway…”

“All right, all right,” Calimon held up his hands,” let’s not argue semantics. Please, just… go on.”

“Darth Acina got furious and called her an unwashed, uneducated slave…”

“Oh, dear.”

“So she took over Arcanum facility, put all of Acina’s apprentices under mind-control using the very device she was supposed to hand over, and made them turn the place into a bizarre temple dedicated to her brilliance.”

 Calimon just looked at him, completely dumbfounded.  

“What,” he choked out eventually.

“They are putting up a throne now,” added Zam’is in a light tone, like it was something entirely normal and expected.

 With Darth Nox, it probably was.

“So… what is the plan?” Calimon put his head in his hands and looked at the Chiss from behind splayed fingers.

“Well, there are two ways to go about it. A really hard and very dangerous one, and a nice and easy one.”

“All right, shoot.”

“One, you talk to Darth Nox.”

 Calimon winced at that.

“And the easy way?” he asked hopefully.

“That was the easy way,” said Zam’is, looking at him pointedly.

“Oh, no, that’s not going to happen!”

“But isn’t she like your aunt or something?”

The other agent sighed, leaning back in his chair. He knew that the real reason he even got into the Intelligence was his connections, just like he knew that as a Pureblood Sith he had no chance to ever become a Cipher, but it didn’t mean that said connections were actually _useful,_ or that he won't try to become a Cipher just to spite everyone.

“No, my aunt is her lover,” he explained in a tired voice.” Or murder-friend. I don’t know, don’t want to know, I try to avoid them, same as I try to avoid dying a painful death.”

“But…”

“No, Zam’is, you don’t understand, She stares at you like she can see through you, like she’s searching for some ways to twist you into her liking, it’s unsettling.”

“Stares at you? Lim, she has no eyes!”

“Also,” Calimon continued, ignoring his remark, “there’s nothing we could offer that would make her stop. She wants to humiliate Acina, first and foremost, we have nothing that she'd find more appealing than that."

Zam’is sighed.

“Okay, so maybe we can talk to your aunt, and then she will talk to her.”

“My aunt is the Emperor’s Wrath. She _might_ not kill us for wasting her time, but only if we’re lucky. And if you try to flirt with her, she’ll punch you in the face. And she wears durasteel gloves.”

The Chiss just threw up his hands and stood from his chair.

“So you’re saying you’d rather infiltrate a high-tech research facility full of mind-controlled Sith apprentices, deactivate the device we know nothing about, and disappear before Darth Nox realises it was us?”

“Yes! That’s exactly what I’m saying!”

Zam’is just stared at him for a moment, his mind already setting on a new strategy.

That’s why the other agent was happy they ended up working together. Calimon had a knack in finding holes even in the most intricate plans, and Zam’is had a flexible way of thinking that helped him adjust immediately to new circumstances.

Not only his way of thinking was flexible, if you believed his many conquests.

The Chiss sat on the desk, putting his feet on Calimon’s chair.

“All right. First, we need to lure Darth Nox away from there.”

“Shouldn’t be hard, ’Calimon waved his hand.” Just plant some information about a new Dread Masters-related find or something. An interesting excavation spot she can go and look at with Talos Drelik. A Force Ghost for her to devour. Anything, really. Just nothing related to other Dark Council Members, because we’ll just end up in the same situation all over again.”

“Fine. I’ll get the Minders to come up with something and we can start preparing for the rest.” Zam’is said with a smile, jumping off the desk.” Don’t worry, Lim, we’ll get it done in no time.”

“Right,” he muttered half-heartedly. “If we survive this, we’ll survive anything.”

“That’s the spirit, my friend!”

“You do realise that they gave this assignment to us, because we’re still disposable?” sighed Calimon, standing up from his chair.

“Well, then it’s time to prove them wrong. Come along, I don’t want to be too late for my date.”

“You always have dates.”

“This one is important.”

“They are always important.”

Calimon just rolled his eyes and followed the other agent, who was chatting animatedly about his latest “girlfriend”. Their immediate future looked rather bleak and filled with potential bodily harm or maybe even slow and painful death, and the Imperial Intelligence turned out to be not what he expected, but if they actually survived it, their lives could get rather eventful.

And, he had to admit, he was quite looking forward to it.


End file.
